I was about to leave a voice message for a friend earlier and stopped for a few moments to think what I wanted to say. Do I say it sucks or do I say carry on, you got this!
When Brexit was voted many moons ago, a whatsapp group I was on on literally went off. Message after message about how terrible the government/other people are/the state of the world/it will never be the same - it was all flung into our lovely friend space. Day after day, for weeks.
I kept deleting the messages and archiving the threads as I could feel the anxiousness of some of the women seep into my cells. I stayed quiet though, I let it flow. When the current health situation happened in the world the messages started again. So this time I asked could we keep our connection space free of expelling our emotions into each other. We can support each other but lets not spread that energy of anxiousness.
But ignoring it doesn't work either. Like many women I hang around with I choose not to watch the news. However it is inevitable that I hear the news on the radio in the background and of course it is on the tip of every convo we have, or try to avoid having.
I thought this was a good solid approach. Keeping positive. A bit like the "Keep Calm & Carry On" British mantra. But of course that doesn't work. Being positive is great but not if you are pretending to some extend it isn't happening. Or maybe your approach is conspiracy theories or pointing fingers at "those people who aren't social distancing/wearing masks".
I believe it is more important to admit that it feckin sucks. Not in a victim, pushing your worries out to others way but just to feel it. This feckin sucks!
I miss hugs, I miss my friends, I miss going to the theatre, and live music. I miss family occasions and going out for dinner together. My heart aches for people that live on their own and have no-one calling to them and to my friends whose businesses are crippling and folding.
Photo by Jusdevoyage on Unsplash
I have cried intermittently throughout it. And in December it really flowed. I felt it all. There was a few days where I just let it flow. My body released so much that I just didn't know I was holding.
I also know that I have to get back on the mat and get into my body. The emotions of fear, anxiousness, anger, loss, grief, opportunity, uncertainty need to be acknowledged. Whatever it is we are feeling needs to be felt. AND it also needs to be moved on. Otherwise it will get stuck in our bodies. And it may build up into dis-ease in our joints, increase inflammation, and affect our immune system. Choose your medicine - what is yours? Yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates, Qigong, Walking, Dancing, gyrating to Beyonce! Whatever allows you to move and breathe deeply, twisting and really getting into areas where emotions can get stuck. Get into those hips and shake off the worries from your shoulders.
So as we stay in Winter, literally and figuratively, I encourage you to feel it all and then allow it to move and flow out of you. That's my plan! As well as to enjoy the hugs I do have, reach out to good friends and women, and enjoy the time that I am carving out now I have less travel and less socialising. And I will also admit it sucks when I feel it sucks.